September 22, 2015 “The House”

Since before I can even remember my parents have always wanted the best for me.  I grew up in a working family, everyone worked hard.  My grandparents built their business from the ground up my dad helped form the service rig company he has worked for since he was 16, my mom had owned a clothing store for many years.  My grandparents and parents are inspirations to me, seeing them work hard for what they have is what drives me.  I worked in my moms store since I was 13, at 19 I opened my own grooming business I have been grooming for 6 years now, I also have a “main job” as an administrator at a drilling rig company.

I have purchased an apartment building with my mom when I was 20, bought my own older house at 21 and stayed in there till July 15, 2015.  I did renovations to it and it was great but I felt the need of something more, I’ve had “baby fever” for many, many years and living in the trailer I just couldn’t picture raising my family in it.  It was a great spot but still had it’s problems.  At 25 I have a great personal business, a stable full time job, I just paid off my vehicle after having it a year, it was time to build the house I wanted to raise a family in.

Selling my house went fast, I posted it on facebook and instantly had people messaging me, a week later got an offer, a month after I was out of there.  They started digging my basement August 2, 2015, as of yesterday everything is framed in and they will pour the basement, do the plumbing and electrical and get the shingles up all this coming week.  It is moving so fast and I am very excited.

I am a very lucky girl, I’ve had people ask me what I do for a job to afford to do this, as many people my age can’t.  I just tell them lots of planning, saving and determination.  I have a dream to own my own house that I have designed and been apart of that (hopefully) won’t have any big problems, a home that I can raise my little one and make traditions and memories in.  So I can show my child that they can do anything they set their mind to as long as they are willing to put in some hard work.

In the long run building a house was exactly what I need to do.  I am sure there are people who wonder why I needed a new house just to have a child.  Around this area the houses that are already built that I can afford are not worth it, I would have to put even more money into them just to run into problems down the line.  The houses that are worth buying are close to $300,000.  It just makes sense to build a perfect 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house in my style and in my budget.  I can get exactly what I want and afford it to.

I decided to build the house in a little village 10 minutes away from my home town.  Reasons being my family, number one, I am going to need help and having them close is perfect not to mention I want my child to be able to see their grandparents and uncle whenever they have the chance.  Number two, my grooming, I have built up my clients and can’t move away to start building it all over again, they are loyal and it is a job I love.  I was able to purchase 2 lots right across from the massive play park, since it is just a little village my child will be able to ride their bike up and down the street and run to friends houses without me worrying.  It is a great little community and I can’t wait to be apart of it.

Here is a photo of how far my house has come, I’m hoping to be moved in at the end of October. 🙂

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xoxo

jess

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September 15, 2015

I had my first gyno appointment today in Regina.  It went fairly well, I had a male doctor and was very hesitant at first about how comfortable I would be but he was great!  When I first got to the office my mom and I sat in the waiting area and talked, she was going to come into the room once I had my exam if I wanted her to but turned out I didn’t need her in there.

When I first get into the room he asked me some questions, one being why I was there to see him.  I told him because I had an abnormal pap test that’s why I was referred to him and also because I wanted to talk about DI/IUI.  He did my exam which actually wasn’t uncomfortable at all he told me what he was doing before he moved on.  I got dressed again then he sat down and told me that the abnormal cells that showed up are very minor and my body should be able to fight them off within 6 months so I am scheduled for another exam in December just to see if it is making any progress.

We talked about IUI and he asked me why I wanted it, I told him that I am ready to be a mom and I don’t have a partner now or most likely in the near future.  He asked if I knew why there would be some problems moving ahead I said because I’m single and only 25.  Exactly he said.  That I am still pretty young and if I move ahead with it he wants me to wait a year.  I don’t plan to try till August 2016 anyways I just want everything to be ready, get healthier and save some more money.

He told me I didn’t need to lose any weight (I know I do) but supported me on getting healthy.  He also said there is a lot of legalities with DI/IUI which I know there will be paperwork and what not.  He told me to just find a guy and grab him that, that was easier.  Then said he was just kidding right after it, it was pretty funny and we laughed.  Then I got thinking after that it’s not that easy, the reason I am going this way is so that I won’t be tied to some random guy I had a one night stand with and don’t know his health history or if we would even make a healthy baby.  I find there to be more legalities getting pregnant from someone you have met in real life that would find out you are pregnant and want rights to that child, the only way that would happen is if I am in a long term relationship with that said person and I have no one in my life like that, which is why I am going this path of single motherhood.  I am ready to become the mother I am meant to be I just don’t have the person in my life that I want to share a child with.

When I go back in December I will tell him that it is what I want and get him to refer me to Aurora in Saskatoon.  Since it can take up to 6 months to get an appointment with them.  I have support from my family and friends and 100% from my mom, she totally understands why I want to do this.  The thing that really made it click with her (since she wasn’t 100% in the beginning) was when I said I can find a relationship at any point in my life I could be 80 and find the love of my life, but I don’t want to miss out on having children because that’s what I was searching for. That I have always seen myself as a mother, but not always a wife.  This doesn’t mean I am swearing off men I just have bigger dreams of becoming a mom first.  As I told the doctor I’m not putting my life on hold while I pursue this, I will still go out and have fun, but what I didn’t say and should have was that I’m also not putting the SMBC on hold wither.  I’m still pursuing it so if that means I can’t go to my cousin’s wedding in Jamaica in January (over 2 grand per person) in order to save money for IUI then I won’t be going.  I’m not heartbroken about not going.  I just keep seeing the bigger picture.

When I was waiting in the room for the doctor I could hear him in the next room with a pregnant mom and her 2 kids and they were listening to the babies heartbeat and I melted.  I cannot wait for that moment, can’t wait for the first little kicks, to see them on the ultrasound.  I am ready.

Opks

So over the past couple days I have been taking ovulation tests, I am still a bit confused about it.  On the package it says the test line has to be the same darkness as the control line.  The 10th it was hardly visible, 11th a bit darker, morning of the 12th tad bit darker, afternoon of the 12th darker and more solid, same for this morning, then this afternoon it’s back to barely visible.  Is anyone able to tell me if the darker ones mean I had ovulated or if they would still be marked as negative.  I use wondflo brand. 
Starting tomorrow morning I am going to start tracking my basil temp and maybe that will help predict a bit better as well.  

OPK

Took my first ovulation test today, it was negative but my peak day isn’t until Sunday anyways, fingers crossed it will be positive then and I’m actually ovulating.  I’ve only been off my birth control pills since the end of May so I am hoping that my body is getting back to normal and am hoping that I get a positive test on Sunday!

Saturday I am going to a baby expo with my best friend and her 2.5 month old, very excited there will be lots to see and do, and my best friend knows about my plans and is very excited for me.  It will be great for us to go around and see what there is to offer.

My best friend had asked me the other day if I would find out the gender, I told her I wouldn’t because it wouldn’t be a surprise that I would be pregnant and it would be nice to have that surprise.  Then she asked me who I would have in the delivery room, I told her my mom and probably her as she has been through the birthing process already and she’s already a great support to me and having her there would mean a lot.  I may even consider asking her cousin to come in as well, she is an RN and would be another great support, we’ll see when the time comes but so far for sure my mom and best friend.